I know I'm supposed to be talking about movies, but ...

Disney's a movie company, and Disneyworld is a brilliant bit of movie merchandising. But I'll avoid blathering on about my (obviously commercialized, yet astoundingly fun) holiday and stick to one bit of movie crossover: The Pirates of the Caribbean. I remember going on this ride as a child. It was fun, there was cheesy music perfect for a kid, and there were hookers running around. Good times. But now there are a few changes. Davey Jones is projected onto a mist screen, Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow pops up in every room, and at the end of the ride the rider is deposited into a Pirates of the Caribbean gift shop. Does the media destroy childhood memories? Does it enhance them? Maybe being able to get a Capt Sparrow hat complete with dreadlocks is a fun way to remember your trip.

Why don't I like 'Shutter Island' (relatively spoiler free)?

Why? It has an interesting plot, the cinematography is gorgeous (no surprise coming from the director of Gangs of New York, Taxi Driver, and The Aviator), and the twist is well thought out and ties in beautifully. I went to see this movie with my best friend, since it's based on her favourite book, and I fully expected to enjoy it. But while I wasn't expecting a slasher, I did expect my heart to beat just a little bit faster than usual. And what did I get? Nothing. The reveal was so drawn out, it felt like Scorsese was making a mystery for young children. Remember those Nancy Drew books, or maybe even the video games? Because this movie felt like walking Nancy through the video game. It didn't matter if you figured out who stole the super secret diamond cut for Marie Antoinette, you still had to go through the fingerprint dusting game and look for clues in the shed.

But maybe I'm being too harsh. After all, the trailer made it pretty clear that a twist was coming, and I apparently watch too many movies and have a substantial mental database of movie twists (ranked, of course - The Others being higher than The Sixth Sense). But even with my knowledge of movie twists, I still somehow manage to be enthralled by a good movie with a well composed twist (has anyone else seen Dead End?). So what else could ruin a perfectly decent mystery film? Crappy music. Loudly hitting the same note three times (bum-bum-bum) is not simply dramatic, it's stupendously annoying. When Leo DiCaprio is running, that noise is irritatingly out of sequence. If there's a direct opposite of synesthesia, I now know of an underlying condition I need to make my physician aware of. I suppose this could just be a case of mild ADD rearing his ugly head, but a score that reminds me of a particularly weak Jaws opener just isn't going to keep me focused on the plot as it slooooooooooowly comes together.

Has anyone else seen this movie and had similar issues? Any big fans (that's you, oh best friend)?

My grade: Three monkeys short of a whole barrel.

p.s. FIRST POST! Now let's see how long I can keep this up.